We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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