I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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