Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
