You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
