I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
