they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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