Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
