ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I got inside last night via doggy door
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize