Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
