Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
