Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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