Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
