that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
