Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
