remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
