so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
