everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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