Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
