she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I need to stop coming to work sober
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
