So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
