Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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