i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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