Actions speak louder than pants.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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