TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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