I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
