in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
