she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
