WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize