I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think people are normalizing furries
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
