I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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