margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
