Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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