My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
