Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
