Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
