she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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