Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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