you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
