Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
