You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
