She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You have to summon your inner elephant
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
