I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
