There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
