Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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