Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
