I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We are two peas in an std pod
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
