so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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