Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
