If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
