I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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