when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
NoShamevember. You game?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize