Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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