I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
