Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
