i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
