I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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