Cold hands, warm shart.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
