walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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