my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
