I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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